brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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