She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
