help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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