you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
