Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
