you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
