How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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