Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
