so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
