What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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