my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
