Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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