She is in my trunk
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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