bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
