NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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