Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
