Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I faked an abortion last night.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
