I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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