Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
