So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
