In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
