she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
