oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
