if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
