You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
