I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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