I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
foreskin is a definite game changer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
