Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
