it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
