I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
