I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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