Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
