you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
