Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
