before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
