I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am one with the molecules
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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