I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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