Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
