I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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