I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
