FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
