My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
