Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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