Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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