remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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