The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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