haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
