hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
