wat bout pragnant strippers??
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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