He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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